


Guardian Angel

by ThereIsNoTragedyInThat



Series: Outlander 2020 Bingo Fills [1]
Category: Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Badass Claire Beauchamp, Canon Compliant, Claire-centric, Drabble, F/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Outlander 2020 Bingo, Reminiscing, Sad and Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:46:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23581819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThereIsNoTragedyInThat/pseuds/ThereIsNoTragedyInThat
Summary: Claire thinks about Jaime on the anniversary of his death.B #2: Guardian Angel
Relationships: Claire Beauchamp/Frank Randall, Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser
Series: Outlander 2020 Bingo Fills [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1697500
Comments: 6
Kudos: 51
Collections: Outlander Bingo Challenge





	Guardian Angel

It was late, the sun having set nearly four hours ago. The dishes were done, and the lights were all out, even the streets outside had finally fallen as close to silent as the city allowed. Frank lay asleep, unbothered and exhausted in their bedroom, finally having given up asking Claire to come to bed with him. 

She couldn’t. Didn’t want to break their pact with her gloomy silence and unshed tears. Living in the present was easier than she thought it would be all that time ago, but forgetting Jamie had never been possible, not when his face looked up at her from the soft, kind expressions of their daughter. 

She was standing in the nursery, beside the crib where Brianna slept, unaware of the terrible day it was. Claire had given up the search to find out how Jamie’s life ended, had forced herself to close weathered and crumbling books, to close her eyes against manuscripts and plug her ears against lectures. Had just barely managed to turn away from universities and museums, hang up on half dialed numbers to the leading historians on the Highlander Uprising. 

Still…it didn’t stop her mind from wandering. 

There was a part of her…a small part that was coming to accept that Jamie had died out there in the fields, surrounded by his country men, cut down and bloody and so very beautiful. She couldn’t imagine anything else. His passion for those he loved, for his country and his Clan was why she loved him, and it only seemed right to have lost him for the same reason. 

Today was the day. 

The day the British troops quelled the Highlanders and left their bloody legacy. The day, Claire forced herself to think, that Jamie had died. For all of her promises to Frank and for all that she had agreed not to let the ghost of a man haunt her or their daughter…she thought she earned this day, this one moment of grieving. 

Reaching into the crib, Claire smoothed the hair away from Brianna’s sleeping face. She was two years old now and mischievous as they came. Her eyes took after Jamie, her hair too, a constant reminder but a good one. 

She had learned early on that she didn’t like watching Brianna sleep. Wanted to constantly nudge her awake and had admitted to her miscarriage after one particularly horrible night to Frank. He had been kind. Understanding. Had dutifully rocked Brianna to sleep, eyes alight with a certain kind of peace. 

Claire was lucky. She had no illusions to that. 

Settling her hand softly on Brianna’s stomach, she breathed out slowly, felt the rise and fall of her small chest, watched for the twitching of eyelids and fingers, reminded herself that this was Brianna. 

Not Faith. 

Taking a shaky breath Claire began to speak. It was quiet, not wanting to wake her daughter and have Frank come running into the room. She told Brianna about Jamie, about her guardian angel and her big sister watching from somewhere above them. Told her about a fierce warrior that would protect her from all evils and the gentle spirit that would guide her one day. 

Claire spoke for a very long time. Told her daughter and herself a beautiful fairy tale, one where they lived happily ever after on a small Scottish farm, happy and safe and forever. She didn’t want to think about blood and dying men on a battlefield, not tonight. She didn’t want to think about a small little grave alone and forgotten in France. 

She wanted to think about her husband. About a world where magic was real, and adventure was inevitable, and heartbreak meant a love so strong the ache of loosing it would never go away. Claire stayed and she spoke and eventually the words changed to include a good man with a better heart and a woman that had tried so hard. 

Claire didn’t notice the sun lighting the trees. Didn’t look up or stop whispering through her dry and sore throat, not until there was a quiet sound from the floorboards behind her and two steady hands settling on her shoulders.

There was a time when that touched would have been too much to bear, when the feeling of his hands would only make her think of Randall and not Frank. Not anymore. Still, Claire tensed, waiting to see what he would say, to see if he’d think this some great offence to their agreement. 

But of course, she should know by now. 

“Do you want some coffee?”

Claire closed her eyes, let relief move through her, “yes please Frank. Coffee would be really nice.”

Frank squeezed her shoulder, went to move away and Claire felt that emotion bubble up again and found herself reaching out to grip his hand, to keep him from slipping away and pretending this was all nothing, like he was nothing, “Frank,” she swallowed thickly when he looked at her, eyes dark with early morning exhaustion. “I want you to know how grateful I am for you, how much…I love you.”

Claire rarely said the words, always felt something stick in her throat, her chest when she tried to spit them out but no this time. This time they slid off her tongue like a prayer, like something that was known and simply had to be stated lest it be forgotten. 

Frank’s eyes softened, that little half smile that came to his lips so often lightening his expression. He was such a simple man to make happy, to let love her, and somehow it was a relief that all it took were simple words and gentle gestures to earn his appreciation and devotion. It was a quiet thing, not like the trials she and Jamie had endured to stumble into their wild, desperate love. 

She found herself painfully grateful. Brianna might never know her father or her sister, but she would never be without a family’s love. For the first time since she had woken the morning before, Claire felt as though she could breathe again. 


End file.
